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1.) “It’s my life…”

Hi, I’m Suzy. I’m Dave’s motorcycle. Do you know why he named me “Suzy”? It’s because I’m a Suzuki SV650. Isn’t that creative? I think that’s so creative. By the way, I’m being totally sarcastic right now. We motorcycles are usually very sarcastic. 

Hi, I’m Herbert! I’m Dave’s minivan! He named me “Herbert” because I look [...]

My first post for 2004

An old girlfriend of mine once told me that I had intimacy problems. She was probably right. But when you think about it, I wouldn’t have intimacy problems if it weren’t for women in the first place, right? 
That being said - In the face of life’s stressful or emotional situations: 
Old Dave: Drink beer till said [...]