don’t be a jerk

While I was rehearsing for “Proof”, the rest of the cast all got sick, and I started bragging about how good my immune system was. I then proceeded to become sicker than anyone else and for a longer period of time. 
Recently, I was bragging to someone about how solid my knees are and how I’ve [...]

Well, things have changed. Now I’m an uber-dumbass. I spent a chunk of yesterday afternoon changing the oil in my bike, only I didn’t screw the drain plug back in before putting in the new oil. I basically poured 2 1/2 quarts of full synthetic directly into my oil disposal pan. I gave my engine [...]

I had a meeting today, which went very well. Then I went home and locked myself out of my apartment again. 
I swear to God, this is like the 7th time I’ve locked myself out of my apartment. One of the local locksmiths sent me a thank you card from his kid cause, apparently, I’ve been [...]