don’t be a jerk

An old girlfriend used to live next to a 7-11. I bought many hot dogs and 6packs of beer. The Indian guys there started recognizing me after awhile and we used to talk and stuff. My girlfriend and I broke up and I don’t really go back to that 7-11 anymore.
 
I lived at my previous apartment for 5 years. The Indian dudes who ran the nearest 7-11 recognized me early on and, over time, became clearly alarmed at the astounding amounts of alcohol and hot dogs that I purchased there. I moved and haven’t been back to that 7-11 since.
 
I’m moving again. Middle of next month. I hate moving. It’s expensive and it’s a pain in the ass. What’s really sad tho is that I was just starting to get to know the nice Indian dudes at the local 7-11. But it is not to be. They had just recently stopped carding me for alcohol too.
 
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 I wonder what certain public figures are like in more private situations.
 
For instance: I wonder what kind of dad Rob Zombie must be. Mike G thinks his daughter would probably be a cheerleader and I have an imagination of his son, in a business suit, at a job interview introducing himself as “Stephen Zombie esq.”.
 
I also wonder what Ann Coulter is like in bed. It’s not any sort of pleasant fantasy for me, but seriously, can you imagine it?
 
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I got this off boingboing. But it’s much funnier if you check out this site first.